When do the Sea Shells get here?

The main character, John Spartan (played by Stallone) in the 1993 film Demolition Man, is cryogenically frozen in 1996 and thawed sometime in the 21st century. Shortly after he is thawed, nature calls and he is confronted with the fact that in this future world there is no toilet paper. Instead there are seashells in the bathroom where a roll would normally be. Spartan asks about it and is taunted that he ‘doesn’t know how to use the seashells’. On a regular basis in the bathrooms at work, the toilet paper rolls conspire against me. You know what I’m talking about – you are done with nature’s call and reach for the paper only to tear off a half a square. No matter how slow you pull the roll, you just keep making confetti! When you finally do manage to pull enough off in a single connected string, you pull hard to tear it off and instead of tearing, it rolls out enough paper to clog the Colorado River. This is almost a daily occurrence at my job — I know I’m not the only one because I see the confetti left from the last occupant of the stall. I’M READY FOR THE SEA SHELLS…