A Night At the Movies: Paul Blart Mall Cop

I’m currently on the road traveling back to Arizona but we were able to stop in Missouri with my Brother-In-Law for a day.  He wanted to go catch a movie and I’m always up for a movie.  I wanted to see Grand Torino, but he doesn’t watch rated R movies so we went to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  I am not going to post any spoilers however the general plot (revealed in the commercials) will be discussed – so if you are thinking about seeing the movie – you can safely read on…

Paul Blart is a security guard officer working at the mall when a plot to rob the mall goes underway, leaving Blart as the unlikely John McClane style hero attempting to save his new girlfriend.  Most of the comedy in this movie is slap stick in nature and extremely predictable.  Its difficult to even force a laugh at the jokes – many of the scenes meant to be playfully awkward were actually awkward and un-entertaining at best.  At one point my brother-in-law leaned over and said “this movie stinks”… I must say, I agree.

Often times a movie in this genre that doesn’t do well in the box office is a recommended ‘rental’ – Paul Blart: Mall Cop doesn’t rise to this level of greatness – if it comes on TV and there are no golf tournaments on instead, then read a book…

I could have thrown my shoes!

I heard today that an Iraqi man threw his shoes at Pres. Bush as a sign of disrespect while shouting something that translated “this is your goodbye kiss”.  I just got back from watching The Day the Earth Stood Still and it was all I could do to keep my shoes on and not start shouting in Arabic.

The movie is based on the 1951 version of the film by the same title; a classic black and white film that is a must see for any self respecting Sci-Fi fan.  This updated version has updated graphics but downgraded acting and ridiculous moments meant to build suspense.  In the beginning of the film, Helen, our protagonist, gets a phone call in which the caller asks if she is Dr. Helen Benson, goes on to tell her “they are on their way, yes that’s them at the door”.  She asks the caller to hold while she answers the door, where military police escort her to an undisclosed location with urgency… I just don’t get the point of the phone call.

Klaatu was played by Keanu Reeves; most of the movie he looked like Mr Anderson in the Matrix.  To be honest, the only thing missing from Reeves performance was a hair sweep behind the ear while saying “duuude” – that would have landed it directly in the excellent adventure club.  Of course, Hollywood added a few ‘lick the bark’ scenes – one such quote is in all the trailers – “If the earth dies, you die – if you die, the earth lives”… Isn’t that special?

There were two highlights in the film for me.  First, they improved the look of Gort from a man-sized robot, to a five story organic like monstrosity.  Second, they introduced a micro-bug that tears everything apart using the shrapnel to create more micro-bugs… making for a few really impressive special effects.

In an attempt to reproduce some agreement with the original film, they replicated the chalk board scene where Klaatu corrects Prof. Barnhardt’s equation… however I was a little shocked that they took time to update everything else in the film but forgot to pick up a whiteboard and a few dry erase markers.

Most of the film had a build up that just seemed to fizzle at the end rather than produce a meaningful climax.  Which led me to want to take off my shoes, throw them at the screen while shouting something that sounds like hacking up phlegm…  This is the second dud film in a row for me (read The Transporter 3 Review Here)… DOH!

Should God Bless America, or was Rev. Wright, Right

Jeremy Wright said in his 2003 sermon, “…sing ‘God Bless America.’ No, no, no, God damn America, that’s in the Bible for killing innocent people” and most of us cringed when we heard it (Read more of that sermon here). God has blessed America in wealth and in prosperity. We are the richest nation in the world; We are the most powerful nation in the world; We have the most advanced technology in the world; We have some of the best educated people in the world; indeed God has blessed America in spades. At my church, we have a saying – God Blesses Us so that we can Bless the World.

At the time of year when we should be most aware of our faith, are we blessing the world? Do we give like Christ gave? Watch this 2:39 video and you tell me:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVqqj1v-ZBU

Four Hundred and Fifty Billion dollars on Christmas at Walmart’s and Target’s on Xboxes and Wiis and laptop computers, on cell phones and gift cards, and junk trinkets, while children made in God’s image die of disease and sickness due to the lack of clean water!  If you think this doesn’t grieve the heart of God – you don’t know Him!  A ten billion dollar bailout for the world could change everything – just 10 billion dollars!

We just gave 15 BILLION to keep our car companies in the business of making cars we aren’t buying – STOP AND THINK about that. The government agreed to give out 700 BILLION to bailout our banks and 15 BILLION to bailout the auto industry, at the same time we are spending 450 BILLION on trinkets and trash while real people are dying around the world for a lack of money COMPASSION.

God has blessed America… should He continue? Do SOMETHING

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